i look fine, a little scruffy
no toughy, a little bit chubby
but i suffer psychosis, depression
and schizophrenia, the tension
everyday makes itself known
bad in crowds and bad alone
i would not say ive suffered abuse
but ive had it asked whats his excuse?
been called a scrounger, and lazy
had alotta trouble waking up lately
thought many times at the window sill
is everybody like this or am i ill?
its tricky carrying the burden of proof
when im not even sure if its the truth
hard work pays off, i dont scoff
but the truth of the matter, i feel lost


fallen though a unique set of cracks
its cost me careers, my CV lacks
a job ive kept for any length of time
and no i dont count this life of rhyme
even when others say they depressed
im skeptical, im not impressed
is that what people think of me?
I didnt believe in ADHD
so am i hearing voices wrong
misconstruing my inner monologue
i like myself, i gotta ask why
my thoughts make it so i dont try
im open about it, i digress
but it feels like trying to pass a test
i got my flat because im sick
am i lucky? thats the kick

if i wasnt psychotic, would i still fail?
or could i battle tooth and nail
have the home, the car, the job
not have people think i rob
their taxes for support, i retort
fuck you buddy see you in court
of course, on the other hand
even fully fit might not be grand
still fail turns out yes im lazy
been on my mind a lot lately
what if im like all the humans
except way more adept at loosing
i dont know! I wish I could
be diagnozed by testing blood
litmus test, yep he got it!
All these doubts, man, stop it